Does your significant other appear to be more influenced by others than by you?

 

Terrance & Uvonna

Married for 3 ½ years and still trying to be on a somewhat honeymoon, Terrance and Uvonna are for the most part enjoying life together.  There is one small challenge that has the potential to grow into a gigantic problem and that is Terrance listens to his family and friends more than he listens to Uvonna. 

For example, when they have a major decision to make about something in their marriage, instead of taking the proper time to discuss the issue, Terrance does not consult with Uvonna at all.  Instead, he will call his relatives and friends sometimes in the presence of Uvonna and ask them things he should be conferring about with his wife.

This of course makes Uvonna feel as if she has no say in the marriage.  She has often confronted him about it and even cried on numerous occasions about this situation, unfortunately it does not seem to move Mr. Terrance.  In this case he feels as the head of the household it is the man that should be making the final decisions and the woman should follow his lead.

He insisted this was the way his father did things.  Uvonna would remind him this is a different day and women do have a say so in their marriage.  Uvonna pleaded with him to agree to counseling for fear this could cause later damage in their marriage.  Terrance once again refused to listen to her thoughts even about counseling until one day he came home to an empty house.  Uvonna had packed some clothes and moved out.  She did have enough concern for him to leave him the following note:

“When you are really ready to make me a part of this marriage as an equal, listen and respect my views as opposed to immediately picking up the telephone to call your family and friends, then and only then you can come and look for me.”

I love you,

Uvonna

When Mr. Terrance read the note, he immediately picked up the phone to call family and friends but then he paused, he thought about her note; immediately jumped in the car, found her and apologized and begged her to come back and give him another chance with assurance it would be different.  He was so tearfully convincing she never unpacked her overnight bag.

Their marriage is into its seventh year and he has never made that mistake again.

The question is: Why did it have to take her leaving him to get his head upright on his shoulders?

Which brings us to tonight’s topic:  “Does your significant other seem to be more influenced by others than by you?”

 

Advertisement